Troy Bolton's 88 Way's to Annoy People
by ZacEfronIsHot
Summary: Troy writes a list of his 88 ways to annoy people! Read, review and then i'll make oneshots of the different ones...Love Stacey xxxx
1. The 88 ways

**Troy's 88 Ways To Annoy People: Do them!**

**Hey my name is Troy Bolton and here are 88 ways to annoy people! There are only two rules:**

**1. deny everything and **

**2. regret nothing!**

**So read down and see how 2 annoy ppl.**

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2.Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

3.Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

4.Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. 

5. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

6.Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

7. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

8.Go into the bathroom at school, Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets and lie down on them. Scream and when someone arrives, announce, "I'm suing this school! I slipped on a broken tile and now i'm bleeding to death!'' 

9.Sniffle incessantly.

10. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

11.Name your dog "Dog."

12. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

13.Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

14. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

15.Declare your house an independent nation, and sue your parents for "violating your airspace".

16.Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 

17.Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

18.Practice making fax and modem noises.

19.Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your teacher.

20.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

21.Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

22.Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

23.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy." 

24. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. 

25. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

26.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

27.Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room at someone you hate (i.e a teacher) then when they accuse you, say ''Look, just cause you can't be bothered to wash, doesn't mean you can pick on the cleanest person in the room!"

28.Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice. 

29.Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 

30.Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

31. Drum on every available surface. 

32. Ask 1-800 operators for dates. 

33.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

34. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.

35. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

36. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page in a really important english project. Blame it on the fact that you refuse to lie to the reader.

37. Set alarms for random times.

38.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

39.Honk and wave to strangers. 

40.Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

41.Wear your pants backwards to important dinners with your parents and their friends. Insist that if they make you change, you'll tell their friends that they beat you.

42. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

43.Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

44.ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE on important pieces of school work...

45. or...only type in lowercase

46. or dont use any punctuation either

47.Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

48. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

49. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

50. Repeat everything someone says, as a question, especially your teachers and parents!!

51. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

52. During a date wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

53. Leave tips in Australian Dollars, instead of American ones.

54. Demand that everyone address you as "That Twat from the basketball team" then cry when someone refuses. When they ask why your crying, scream really loudly that ''You think i'm a twat but don't have the guts to say it!"

55. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

56. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

57.Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." then make people think you are going to jump off a high rise flat because they don't believe you can fly!

58. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

59. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

60. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

61. Hum really loudly to an annoying tune (i.e the crazy frog!) and then stop right before you finish and claim to have messed it up, then start again.

62. Drive to your next door neighbours and then complain about global warming.

63. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination (especially parents, partners or teachers)

64. Ask people what gender they are.

65. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back. 

66. Talk to your teachers in a female accent, and then when they ask what's wrong with your voice, cry then scream at them, "It's not my fault i haven't hit puberty yet! I'm just waiting for my voice to break!" Then storm out.

67. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

68. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in your friends brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

69. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

70. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

71. Insist to you parents or partner that you should Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September, just incase Santa is lost coming back from the liquor store.

72. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

73. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

74.Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 

75. Wear a LOT of cologne and insist it's your natural scent.

76. Sing along at the opera.

77. Attempt to mow your lawn with scissors.

78. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

79. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 

80. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

81. Ask your friends mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

82. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

83. Select the same song on the jukebox twenty times in a row, then shout really loudly, ''That is the WORST song i have ever heard!''

84. Never make eye contact with someone you're talking to.

85. Never break eye contact with someone your talking to. elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results (i.e YEP, this one needs to lose weight, or OVERPRICED!)

88. Make a date with your girlfriend or arrange to meet a friend on the 31st of September.

**A/N: Okay so review, tell me your favourites and i'll write oneshots for the most enjoyable!!!**

**lol Please R&R... Love Stacey AKA. ZacEfronIsHot xxxxxxxxxx**

**p.s: Sequel to Investigating Love will be called Take a Chance and will be started Thursday Night: UK time.**

**Love ya'll!!!! XxXx**


	2. Number: 32

**Hey Guys! Wow! I got quite a few ppl feedback on my first chapter of this story/oneshot scenarios. I don't really know how to explain it. But anyway, thanks alot guys! Okay, here is the first scenario!**

**Number 32: Ask 1-800 operators for dates.**

It was a friday night and Troy was at Chad's house, having a 'male' sleepover. Those also there were Jason, Ryan and Zeke. For the past three hours, the boys had talked about each of their girlfriends, ate until their stomachs were ready to burst and now were struggling to find something to do.

"God, i'm bored!" Chad whined.

"Tell me about it dude! How do the girls manage to stay awake at sleepovers?" Zeke agreed.

"It's not a sleepover!" Troy immediately told him, asif his whole life depended on the fact that HE was not at a sleepover.

"Okay, gosh dude, you don't have to bite my head off!" Zeke apologised.

"Sorry. So what do you guys wanna do now?" Troy asked, changing the subject rapidly.

"I was thinking, a prank. But what?" Ryan wondered.

"I know! We can egg Taylor's house!" Chad suggested whilst jumping up and down in excitement.

"Dude! Sit down and shut up!" Jason ordered to his now embarrassed friend, "She's your girlfriend, we can't do that!"

"Jason's right, Chad! Why are you such a muppet?" Ryan joked.

"Well at least i'm not a freak," Chad sang at him in reply.

"I AM NOT!" Ryan snapped.

"DUDES! Chill out! We're supposed to be thinking of a prank, remember?" Zeke coerced them into being quiet, "Right, anyone got any decent ideas?" He added, putting special emphasis on the word _decent_ and glaring at Chad.

"I've got one, but it can be really annoying," Troy said mischeviously.

"Dude, do tell," Jason encouraged.

"Okay, well you know those 1-800 operators who tell you the time and connect you to people in the phone book and stuff?" Troy paused and waited for their reply. When they nodded, he carried on, "Well, i say we ring one and have a little fun with them," He smiled evilly as he emphasised the word _fun_.

"Dude, you gotta do it," Chad laughed before handing him the phone.

"Here goes nothing!" Troy said as he dialled the operator, "Hello?"

**"1-800, what telephone number would you like to be connected to?" The woman asked in a bored tone.**

"I'd like to be connected to you, baby," Troy told her in an older, sexy sounding voice. Everyone supressed a giggle.

**"I'm sorry?" She asked confused.**

"I said, i'd like to be connected to you. You sound hot, wanna go out sometime?" He asked again with his older voice.

**"No, sir. I will not go out with you!" She disagreed angrily.**

"Oh come on, don't be shy. We both know, you think i sound sexy! Besides, my girlfriend is too tight to give me any, so i would just love for you to take that place. If you know what i mean," He giggled to himself slightly and the others looked like they were dying to burst into fits of giggles too.

**"I don't care if you're girlfriend is too ''tight'' to give you any! I won't!"**

"That hurt, baby. That really hurt. I thought you loved me," Troy tried to sound dissapointed but couldn't.

**"Who is this?" She asked impatiently.**

"The name's Robert Neilson. But you can call me sex on legs," Troy smiled at Chad who was biting his lip to control his giggles.

**"Well, Mr Neilson (A/N Kelsi's Dad- lol), i think you are a rude, obnoxious, irritable pervert and you should be locked away," She yelled at Troy.**

"Now, come on baby, don't be like that. We could be good together," Troy attempted to argue with the poor woman on the other end of the phone.

**"What do you mean by that?" She asked awkwardly.**

"Just think about it. Me, you, candles, music and a whole lotta loving!" Troy felt proud of himself. He was really outdoing himself with this prank, and she was annoyed, he could tell.

**"I'm terminating your call now, Sir," She told him professionally.**

"Don't hang up on me baby! I need your hot body here right now!"

**"You're sick!" She slammed the phone down on him.**

As soon as the others heard the dialtone, they all collapsed in fits of giggles. Chad remained laughing after the others had finished, "DUDE! That's enough laughing!" Ryan yelled at him.

"Sorry, but that was a classic!" Chad clapped his hands at Troy who took a bow.

"Thank you Gentlemen, and Chad. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my parents who made me into such an obnoxious little minx. If it weren't for them, i wouldn't be standing here today," Troy finished his speech and once again everyone burst into giggles. This time at his terrible attempt at a speech.

**Okay so it was a little short but i thought the comedy made up for it! Please review guys and i will be forever greatful. Remember, keep telling me your favourites and i'll try my hardest to make it into a scenario! I chose this one first because pretty much everyone who reviewed loved it. I've actually done this at a sleepover (but it wasn't 1-800; i'm british!) and it was a woman on the other end and she thought i was gay. LOL. I'm not though, i assure you. Just someone who likes a laugh!**

**So please R&R and i'll be forever greatful! Love Stacey xxxxxxx**


	3. Number: 39

**Hey Guys! Thanks so much for all of the reviews! I loved them and they make me so happy!!! So please read this next chapter and review!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own hsm...sadly for me...**

**Number 39: Honk and Wave to strangers. (A/N: This one is just waving!)**

"Gabriella, guess what Troy did on Friday night?" Chad whispered when all the gang were walking home on Monday afternoon.

"What?" She asked him.

"We were all hanging out and we got bored, so he prank called that 1-800 number and pretended to be in love with her and tried to ask her out. He was just joking but it was really funny and you should have heard all the names she called him," Chad laughed at the memory.

"Oh my gosh, i wish i had been there. It sounds fun," Gabriella giggled.

"What are you two talking about?" Troy asked when he heard Gabriella and Chad laughing.

"You," They both answered simultaneously.

"Friday?" He asked Chad.

"Yup!" Chad replied.

"Do something else!" Gabriella encouraged him.

"Like what?" He asked her.

"I dunno, just entertain us!" By now all of the gang were watching and encouraging Troy to do something funny.

"Okay, i thought of something. But, we all have to do it," Troy agreed.

"Tell us what we have to do," Sharpay added.

"Okay, it's pretty simple. Just wave at everyone, no matter who they are. It's so annoying for them!" Troy laughed slightly as the others agreed.

The gang sat around and began waving to everyone who walked by and every car who drove by. This carried on for nearly five minutes, and they all got honks back, weird looks and a couple of very rude finger gestures. They got many shouts too.

"Stop waving you morons!"

"Go back to Kindergarten!"

"Stop being losers!"

"Idiot kids!"

As the others began to get bored with all the taunts, Troy decided to step it up one notch and he flagged a car down.

"What's up kid?" The man behind the wheel asked once he pulled up. Troy just waved in his face, "What the hell?" He asked him.

"I just wanted to wave to you," Troy replied still waving his hand frantically in front of the man's face.

"Well get out of the road, i've got to get to an appointment," The man said frustrated.

"Not until you wave back," Troy said sternly, still waving his hand in front of the man's face.

"Look, kid, i really don't have time for these stupid games. Can you just get the hell out of my way?!" The man raised his voice this time.

"WAVE!" Troy yelled back.

"NO!" He shouted in reply.

"WAVE AT THE BOY!" Chad added.

"NO!" He disagreed.

"WAVE! WAVE! WAVE! WAVE! WAVE!" The entire gang began to chant.

"I said NO!" The man screamed.

"What's wrong with you? Get out of my way or i'll run you over, i swear!" The man began to go red in the face with anger.

"That's illegal!" Sharpay retorted.

"Murderer!" Chad added.

"Stop threatening my friend!" Zeke yelled at the man.

Just then a patrol police officer rounded the street corner and heard all the commotion. He decided to check it out when he heard the words ''Murderer'' and "Stop threatening my friend!"

"What's going on here?" The Officer asked.

"This jerk threatened to run my boyfriend over," Gabriella told him.

"Is this true, Sir?" The Officer demanded.

"I...He...What? I..." The man stumbled.

"You're going to have to get out of the vehicle, Sir," The officer commanded him.

The rest of the gang stifled back giggles as the man gave up and got out of his car, "Look, i didn't mean to say that, Officer," The man began to apologise.

"Save it, Sir. I'm going to have to write you a ticket for road rage. If i can just see your license and registration please," The Officer asked the man. The man got out his details and the Officer allowed the man to leave after issuing him a three hundred dollar fine, "Kids, you had better just run on home now,"

The gang all nodded and turned the corner before bursting into fits of laughter.

"Troy, dude, that was hilarious!" Ryan congratulated him.

"Absolute genius, Troy," Taylor agreed.

"I can't believe that guy got fined," Gabriella laughed.

"I know. I bet he's pissed," Sharpay commented.

"Look's like he is, he's driving our way! RUN FOR IT!" Troy bellowed as the entire gang ran their hearts out and launched straight into the nearest home, which luckily was Troy's house.

"Man, that was close," Taylor said as she tried to get her breath.

"Hey, Kids, what have you been up to?" Jack Bolton asked.

Troy indicated for his friends to walk up the stairs before answering his Father with a non-verbal answer. Troy could almost feel the anger rise in his Father as he waved frantically infront of his Dad's face. Jack lunged at Troy who ducked and ran up the stairs with his friends and collapsing on his bed in a fit of giggles.

**Hope you liked it! Let me know please!!! **

**I'd love it if you do!**

**Love Stacey xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	4. Number: 13

**Alright, party people! Here is the newest chapter of these oneshot thingys! Thanks for all your support after i hurt my ankle this morning! Well, it's yesterday morning now! But w.e! **

**Here...enjoy!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HSM...unfortunately for Disney... :)**

**Number 13: Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."**

Troy Bolton was bored. Plain and simple. He was bored. And he wasn't the only one. Ms.Darbus was the sinfully most boring teacher in the history of the world and Troy didn't know whether to cry or not every time he entered one of her lessons. It was bad enough that he had her for homeroom. Why did he have to get stuck with her for Theatre Studies and English too? What had he ever done to deserve this kind of punishment? Those thoughts were swimming through not only Troy's mind, but also eight other people's minds. They were, Taylor, Chad, Gabriella, Sharpay, Ryan, Zeke, Jason and Kelsi. The only difference was, Troy was the only person willing to do something about the extreme boredom.

As Ms.Darbus droned on about various things to do with the theatre, Troy listened intently for something he could argue with, "So, i will have no public display's of affection in the Theatre. The Theatre is my temple of the arts and is a precious cornocopia of creative energy," Ms Darbus was now in her own zone.

"Yeah, that's what you think," Troy muttered under his breath.

"You say something, Mr Bolton?" Ms Darbus asked him.

"Oh no, Ms.Darbus," He answered, with slight sarcasm in his voice.

"Good. Now, we'll move onto Shakespeare. William Shakespeare, was born in England on the 26th April in 1564. He was an English poet and playwright. He is widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language and the world's pre-eminent dramatist.His surviving works include approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. He is often called England's national poet. Shakespeare died on the 23rd April in 1616 but was widely recognised for some of the most excellent stories ever written, such as Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear, and of course, Romeo and Juliet..." She began to rant.

"Ha!" Troy bellowed.

"I'm sorry Mr Bolton?" She asked snappily, "What is it that you find so funny?"

"Nothing, if that's what YOU think about dear Shakespeare,"

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked huffily.

"It's just you say, that he was, and i quote, 'widely recognised for some of the most excellent stories ever written,' yada yada yada, and well i don't agree," Troy explained.

"What exactly don't you agree with Mr Bolton?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"That he wrote them," Troy said coolly.

"Of course he wrote them!" Ms.Darbus exploded.

"That's what YOU think!" Troy retorted.

Giggles erupted from mouths across the room when Troy said that. Ms. Darbus, however, was unimpressed, " That is what i think, Mr Bolton, and i happen to be right!" She snapped.

"Keep telling yourself that," He smiled cheesily at her.

"I will! Because i know William Shakespeare wrote those pieces of literature," Ms.Darbus said as her cheeks burned.

"Really? Is it not true that it was claimed around 150 years after Shakespeare's death, doubts began to emerge about the authorship of Shakespeare's works? Alternative candidates proposed included Francis Bacon, Christopher Marlowe, and Edward de Vere, the Earl of Oxford. Although all alternative candidates were rejected in academic circles, popular interest in the subject continues," Troy told her expertly. He had obviously done his homework before coming to the lesson.

"Oooo yeah, i heard that," Sharpay included herself in the conversation.

"Yep! Me too!" Taylor added.

"Yeah, it was on the news the other century," Chad said stupidly.

"The other day, he means," Ryan corrected him, "But yeah, i saw that broadcast,"

"Yeah, Troy's right! Shakespeare might not have written those plays. It could have been anyone," Gabriella argued.

"I guess, for once, Mr Bolton is right. There has been popular interest on whether the author actually is William Shakespeare. I agree, it could be someone else," Ms.Darbus admitted defeat.

"Yeah, that's what YOU think," Troy suddenly said.

"I'm sorry? What have i said wrong, now? I agreed with you!" Ms.Darbus bellowed at Troy.

"You said it could be someone else," Troy replied simply.

"Exactly, i agreed with you," Ms.Darbus said, exasperated.

"Nope, i said, i don't think he wrote them," Troy smiled happily in triumphance, "I don't think he could even write, the stupid idiot," Everyone laughed.

"I can't believe the audacity of you, Mr.Bolton. You insult one of the greatest minds of all time and you also, believe that what i teach you is incorrect?" She asked him angrily.

"That's what YOU think," He said, almost robot like.

"I DO think that," She retorted.

"If that's what YOU think, then think it," Troy replied, trying his hardest to keep a straight face.

"I also think that you are in for a week's worth of detentions," Ms.Darbus told him bitterly, her face right in front of his. The class watched on in silence as Troy studied Ms.Darbus' face. It was red with anger.

"That's what YOU think," He said in an audible whisper before laughing in her face, just as the bell rang.

Troy and the rest of the class packed up their things as Ms.Darbus fumed, "I mean it Bolton. Detention! All week!" She shouted as he left the room.

"That's what YOU think!" He yelled back before erupting in a fit of laughter outside the class along with his friends.

"Again, the Troy Bolton, annoyance machine, strikes again! Absolutely magnificant Troy!" Gabriella congratulated him.

"Classic!" Chad agreed.

"Dude, they will be talking about that one for years to come," Zeke told Troy.

"Did you see the old croak's face, when i told her about the speculation. She thought i had swallowed smart pills or something!" Troy laughed.

"Yeah, how did you remember all that?" Sharpay asked him.

"I guess that musical came in handy after all, i memorised the lines!" Troy laughed before hi-fiving all his male friends and hugging Gabriella, after finally getting one over on the witch they call a teacher!

**So, guys, what did you think? Was it Good? **

**Lemme know!!!!**

**Love Stace xxxxxx**


	5. Number 17 and 20

**Hey!!! So this is the next one...! **

**Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't have a fully functioning ankle, i don't own a Zac doll (From hairspray) and i don't own HSM! This is the worst life ever!!!!**

**Number 17: Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.**

**and**

**Number 20: Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. **

"There's nothing to do!" Gabriella whined.

"I know, why do they give us free periods? They should know that we won't do homework!" Chad commented.

"I'm so bored," Sharpay added as she blew her freshly painted nails dry.

"Wow! There's a shocker, Ladies and Gentlemen. Sharpay is doing her make-up...and she's BORED!" Ryan announced to everyone very sarcastically.

"Shut it, Ryan," Sharpay snapped at her brother.

"Will all of you guys shut it? I'm thinking!" Troy snapped.

"About what?" Taylor asked.

"A way to not be bored any more. I have quite a few in my mind, but nothing seems good enough," Troy racked his brain for an idea.

"Hey, maybe you could do the waving thing again," Zeke suggested.

"No! You can't do something twice, Zeke!" Chad said, before Troy could reply. Troy, however, did nod in agreement.

"It has to be something funny, yet cruel. Something that would really mess with someone's self esteem, but what?" Troy asked himself. Suddenly his face lit up like he was having an epiphany, "I've got it!"

"Ooooo, what is it?" Sharpay asked in a school girl's voice.

"Patience! Patience! First things first, does anyone know where i can get some Lysol?" Troy asked everyone in a guru voice. Sharpay opened her large pink bag and produced a can of Lysol, "Why the hell have you got that in your purse?" He asked her.

"To spray on seats. You never know what sweaty betty has been in the seat before me," Sharpay answered with a slight shrug.

"Right, okay. Well, everyone follow me," Troy said. He darted around the hallways looking for his prey. "Simon Cally? Nope, he's too young, it would be bullying. Andie Hamilton? Nope, she's a cheerleader, she'll kill me. Martha Cox? Bingo!"

Everyone grinned as he followed the slightly obese Martha Cox around. She was putting up flyers on lockers and everytime she touched a locker, Troy sprayed it.

"A little Lysol for you," He whispered.

"And poor you, there's some Lysol from Uncle Troy,"

"Did the dirty girl touch you?" He laughed slightly as he sprayed everything she touched.

Unfortunately for Troy, Martha heard this and turned sharply around, "What are you doing, Bolton?" She asked.

Troy quickly shoved the Lysol aerosol behind his back and shook his head innocently,"I'm not doing anything,"

"Good," She answered snappily before moving on. She reached Jason Cross who had been crouching in the corner, laughing hysterically at Troy,"Hi Jason. Would you be a doll and put up some of these flyers?" He nodded and she handed him the flyers before patting him slightly on the arm.

"Disease control! Disease control! Don't worry Jason, i'll save you!" Troy whipped out his Lysol and sprayed Jason's arm and the flyers, plus his hands where the flyers had touched him, "You're safe now Jason," He added in a superhero voice.

"BOLTON! What the hell are you doing!?" Martha Cox shouted as she backed up towards them.

"Beep beep beep beep beep beeeeeeeeeeep!" Troy said like a Truck was reversing, "Watch out Ladies and Gentleman! Big load coming through! Move it or lose it people, SHE'S HUGE!"

Everyone in the corridoor erupted into laughter, Martha however chose to ignore the comment, "What are you doing with that Lysol? Why were you spraying Jason?" She asked irritated.

"I was just getting rid of the cooties you've been leaving behind!" Troy answered her in a 'duh' tone.

"What? I haven't been leaving cooties behind!" She snapped.

"Sure you have! See, poor Jason would have died if i hadn't sprayed him in time," Troy told her in a mocking tone.

"You're a bully Bolton!" Martha Cox told him.

"Actually i beg to differ! I'm actually more like a superhero. If i weren't here, alot of people would have died of Martha Cox cooties!" Troy replied triumphantly.

"Urgh! Stay away from me Bolton!" Martha Cox pushed him and began to stomp off.

"ARGHHHHHHH! I've been hit, save yourselves! Leave me!" He shouted to the gang as they gathered round him. He fell to the floor, clutching his arm where she touched him, still screaming in pretend pain, "Go, i've lost the Lysol, i'm going to die. Quarantine yourselves!" He added, before collapsing on the floor.

"Never fear! Sharpay is here!" Sharpay yelled like Tarzan before producing a second can of Lysol from her purse. She pointed it at Troy's arm and sprayed.

Troy jumped up immediately, "Wow, that was close," He smiled at Sharpay just as the bell rang, signalling for lunch, "Oh well, lets go eat! Dying really makes me hungry!"

**Alright so this was pretty short but i really liked this oneshot! It's pretty ace! LOL. **

**Okay ppl, lemme know what you think! **

**Love Stacey xxxxxx**


	6. Number: 54

**Here, i am with another scenario! Keep those reviews coming! I appreciate them !!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HSM.**

**Number 54: Demand that everyone address you as "That Twat from the basketball team" then cry when someone refuses. When they ask why your crying, scream really loudly that ''You think i'm a twat but don't have the guts to say it!"**

"Hey guys," Troy greeted his friends when he sat down at their lunchtable, one afternoon.

"Hey, Troy. What's up man?" Chad asked.

"Yeah, you look a bit sad," Gabriella agreed.

"It's Martha Cox. I saw her crying because someone copied me and started saying she had cooties and that she was fat," Troy admitted.

"Yeah, but you were only joking," Taylor told him.

"I know that, but she doesn't. And everyone keeps copying me and it's really upsetting her! Damn this popularity thing," Troy scolded himself.

"I don't care what you say, Troy! That was absolutely classic and it was just a bit of harmless fun. Lighten up," Zeke practically yelled at Troy.

"Uh-oh, there's Martha," Sharpay said, before pointing out the blotchy faced girl waiting in line for lunch. She was being teased as she waited for food, and Troy didn't like it one bit.

"Troy where are you going?" Gabriella asked him as he rised from his seat.

"To put this right," He said before heading towards the line where people had huddled up together, away from Martha so they wouldn't get cooties. Troy stood right behind Martha.

"Troy! Dude, don't stand too close, you'll get Cox-cooties," Someone from the line yelled at him.

"There's no such thing," Troy told them pointedly, "And stop being such idiots will you? She's perfectly fine,"

"Are you thick? Why are you standing that close to fatty fatty?" Someone else yelled.

"Hey! That's enough! Leave her alone, i mean it!" Troy warned them.

"Why are you sticking up for me?" Martha asked between sniffles, "You started it,"

"That's why. Listen Martha, i didn't mean to alienate you, i think you're really cool. It's just me and the guys, were really bored and i decided to do something to make them laugh, and that's why i did that. It was meant to be a one time joke, nothing personal, but no-one seems to get that you don't have cooties," Troy attempted to apologise.

"What about the fat thing?" She asked him pointedly.

"And i'm sorry about the fat thing. It's not like i think you're really huge, you're just not anorexic like most people," Troy again attempted to apologise.

"Umm, thanks i think. And you will be forgiven if you can somehow stop these morons from bullying me," Martha smiled weakly.

"Sure, no problem. Give me a minute to think of a way and i'll do it," Troy told her before waving and walking back towards the group, "Guys, listen. I need a way to get the heat off of Martha and onto me long enough for them to forget about taunting her. I need some ideas," Troy begged for their help.

"Dude, you could always try threatening them and telling them all that if they say one bad word to her, you'll beat them all up," Chad suggested.

"Yeah, that would be good! IF I COULD DO IT!" Troy practically yelled after Chad's stupid suggestion.

"Oooo i got it!" Sharpay squealed like a little kid, "Remember your list?" Troy nodded, "Well, i'm thinking, number 54,"

"Ooo, yeah, that could totally work," Taylor agreed.

"They'll be laughing at you though, do you think you can do it?" Sharpay pointed out.

"Yeah, i can do it. Besides, if i'm lucky they'll just talk about me and still pretend to worship me afterwards," Troy shrugged before standing on top of the table, "Excuse me everyone! Can i have your attention?" Everyone immediately quietned down and listened to Troy,"From now on, i order everyone to call me 'That Twat from the basketball team!' Is that understood?" A bunch of murmors and lots of nodding made Troy sit satisfyingly down.

Moments later, Martha came up to them with her lunch in hand,"You didn't have to do that, Troy," She said lightly.

"Trust me, Martha. It will work, i promise you. Now, why don't you take a seat and tell us how school's been so far?" Troy said before making room for Martha. This didn't go un-noticed. Troy Bolton, captain of the basketball team, super jock, super hunk and the most popular guy in school had just told Fatty Fatty Martha Cootie Cox to sit with him. Troy had a feeling that people won't be bullying Martha anymore.

**After school, during basketball practice.**

"So, has anyone refused to call you 'that twat from the basketball team' yet?" Chad asked as they huddled together during basketball practice that afternoon.

"A few teachers felt like objecting, but they agreed in the end. This won't work unless someone refuses to call me it," Troy murmured to Chad as Coach Bolton, Troy's Dad approached them.

"Troy, Chad, stop gossiping like little girls and get to work," He ordered them.

"I'm sorry?" Troy asked.

"I told you to get to work," Jack Bolton repeated.

"Not that. What name did you call me?" He asked his Father.

"Troy. That's your name, Son," Jack told him.

"No it's not," Troy said sternly.

"Yes it is, now stop all these games and get to work," Jack ordered Troy, "You, Danforth, suicides!" He added to Chad who obliged and started doing suicides whilst keeping his ear open for Troy's big gag.

"Why do you keep calling me, Troy? That's not my name!" Troy practically yelled at his Father.

"Troy! Stop being stupid!" Jack screamed at him. By now the entire basketball team had stopped work and were watching intently.

"THAT'S NOT MY NAME!" Troy yelled at his Father.

"Oh really, then what is your name?" Jack asked Troy sarcastically.

"My name is, 'That Twat from the basketball team' and i'd appreciate it, if you would call it me," Troy said irritably.

"Troy, how many times do i have to tell you to grow up and get to work?" Jack asked him impatiently.

"AND HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, MY NAME IS THAT TWAT FROM THE BASKETBALL TEAM! NOT TROY!" Troy yelled at the top of his voice.

"I refuse to call you that, Troy!" Jack told him angrily.

Troy saw this as his chance and burst into fake tears. He put his hands over his face and wailed before falling to the floor and punching and kicking it while still pretending to cry.

"Troy! What's wrong with you?" Jack asked him as he bent down to Troy, "Talk to me son,"

Troy simply got up and sulked away from his Father,"Leave me alone!" He yelled as he turned his back to Jack Bolton.

"Troy what's wrong?" Jack asked again.

Troy turned sharply around and leered at his Dad, "You think i'm a twat but you don't have the guts to say it!" Troy yelled before running away, head in hands and still pretending to cry.

**The Next Morning:**

Troy walked into school and was jumped on by Martha Cox who engulfed him in a hug, "Thank you so much, Troy! They've stopped bullying me, now they're all talking about whether or not, you've gone mad!" She squealed when she stepped away from the hug.

"That's great Martha, but that's not my name," Troy said softly,

"Huh?" She asked.

"My name isn't Troy," He told her.

"Then what is it?" She asked confused.

Suddenly people all over the school heard the world's most biggest scream shout, "MY NAME IS THAT TWAT FROM THE BASKETBALL TEAM!"

**Alrighty, guys did ya like it?**

**Was it good or bad? **

**Tell me!!!!!**

**Love Stace xxxx**


	7. Number: 81

**Okay! I know i haven't updated this in a while, but i've been a little pre-occupied with Take a Chance! **

**I just wanted to give a shout out to someone, if they are reading! I was supposed to reply to an email, in lieu of a co-written story. I think it was to PrincessJolola! But i'm not sure! Anyways, i tried to reply but it kept failing! So, if that person is reading, PM me so we can carry on sorting out the co-written story! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own HSM!**

**81. Ask your friends mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." **

"Hey Chad, where did you get the inspiration for your hair?" Troy asked during English class during October.

"It grew this way, i left it," Chad replied before shooting a weird look at Troy, who was no longer looking at him but writing in his notebook.

"And how many times a day do you eat?" Troy asked after a five minute silence.

"3," Chad answered, stretching the truth slightly.

_"Compulsive liar,"_ Troy muttered to himself as he wrote down the same thing.

"What did you say?" Chad asked him quickly.

"Lawrence, Friar," Troy lied.

"What?"Chad asked, weirded out by Troy's behaviour.

"Lawrence comma Friar. As in Friar Lawrence," Chad gave him a confused look,"He's a character in Romeo and Juliet, dude. Read your book," Troy scolded before giggling to himself for covering up. Troy turned his attentions to Gabriella, "Why do you have wavy hair, Gabs?" Troy asked her.

"Because God gave me wavy hair," She told him sharply.

_"Crazy preacher," _Troy copied his words into his notebook.

"What did you say?" She asked him angrily.

"I hate this teacher," He told her clear but slowly as if she was dumb.

"Oh right, okay," Gabriella shrugged it off and turned back to her work.

"Ooo Taylor, i've always wanted to know. If you could choose Chad or Science, which would you choose?" Troy whispered to Taylor who was in front of him.

"Definitely science," She whispered back to him. She and Chad had had a fight this morning and she was obviously bitter about it.

_"Has sex with Chemicals," _Troy again copied his uttered words into his notebook.

"What?" Taylor hissed at him.

"I said, that's terrible," Troy replied.

"What is?" She questioned him.

"That Romeo and Juliet die," He answered before pointing to his copy of the book. She merely nodded and turned back to her own work. Troy was now running out of bait, there was only Ryan and Sharpay Evans left, and Sharpay was sat next to Gabriella. She was too far away, but Ryan was sat right behind Troy, so Troy turned to him next, "Hey Ryan,"

"What's up Troy?" Ryan asked in a bored manner, without even looking up from his work.

"I was wondering, which of your hats is your favourite?" Troy asked, trying his hardest to keep a straight face.

"My Salmon coloured one," Ryan replied.

"You mean pink?" Troy asked him.

"No, salmon coloured," Ryan answered impatiently before throwing a final glare at Troy, and getting back to work.

Troy chuckled to himself before picking his pen up, whispering and writing, _"Too gay to function," _

"Troy, what did you say?" Ryan asked suspiciously.

"I said in conclusion. I'm just finishing my essay," Troy told him impatiently, _"None of them can hear,"_ He uttered, the words he had just wrote.

"Okay! That's it! We know, that you have been saying stuff about us! What is it?" Taylor demanded to know.

"Nothing i swear!" Troy protested.

Chad reached over to Troy and got in his face,"Dude, what have you been saying? We all heard you whisper-" Chad trailed off and looked at Troy's notebook, "He's been writing about us too!" Chad exclaimed.

"No i haven't!" Troy again protested his innocence, before snatching his notebook to his chest.

"Yes he has! I saw all of our names in there!" Chad informed everyone loudly.

"What were you writing, Troy?" Gabriella demanded to know.

"Nothing i swear!" Troy held his hands up in innocence. The others gave up and turned their backs to him in a strop, "_Just your psychological profiles," _he muttered under his breath.

"WE HEARD THAT!" They all chorused.

"Do you think we're crazy or something?" Chad asked him quite loudly. Luckily there was enough chatter in the room, for the teacher not to notice.

"He does think we're crazy!" Gabriella cursed Troy.

"We are not crazy, Bolton!" Taylor told him sternly.

"You are McKessie!" Chad told her rudely.

"Oh shove off Danforth! If anyone's crazy it's you!" Taylor retorted.

"I'm not the one who starts stupid fights for no reason!" Chad snapped back.

"She does not!" Gabriella defended her best friend.

"Don't get involved, Gabs," Ryan warned her.

"Yeah, don't get involved, or you'll end up just as crazy as Taylor!" Chad snapped.

"She's not crazy!" Ryan defended Gabriella.

"Yeah, but you are," Chad snorted.

"Shut it basketball boy!" Ryan retorted.

"You shut it you crazy drama freak!" Chad shouted at him.

The bell rang for next period but all of the gang were too busy arguing to notice. Troy sat there laughing as they continued to argue over who was the craziest.

Troy stood up and got in all their faces, "YOU'RE ALL CRAZY!" Then he stomped out the room. Once Troy was out the room, he burst into a fit of laughter at his friends. Before he knew it though, he had to start running because all his friends were running after him.

"You're dead Bolton!" He heard Chad shout before escaping to his secret spot and collapsing on the floor, still laughing at them all.

**So, did you all like it? Let me know! **

**Love Stacey!**


	8. Number 1 and 79

**Oh wow! Hey you guys! It's been a long time! I've finally updated this story! So sorry that it took so long, but i have had an extreme case of writer's block and i found i could no longer be slightly funny! **

**Well, hopefully, i've been able to get funny, in at least a small way, for this chapter, and i hope that it makes up for the long wait!**

**By the way, ''Dina'' is like din-ah, part of the Batman theme. I hope this makes sense.**

**Hope you enjoy! Read on.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HSM!!! For the millionth time...**

**Number 1: Sing the Batman theme incessantly. **

And

**Number 79: Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."**

Troy Bolton was nervous. He was taking his girlfriend, Gabriella Montez out for a meal to celebrate their first anniversary as a couple. He was so nervous that he knew he would cock up. He knew that his selfish and rude behaviour would ruin the night. He knew deep down that this would happen but he kept telling himself that everything was going to go brilliantly and that he was just imagining his self doubt.

Troy had himself convinced when he pulled up in front of the Montez home. He walked up to the front door and rapped loudly on the door, waiting patiently for a reply. Less than a minute later, Gabriella opened the door and smiled brightly up at him, "Wow, Troy! Don't you look handsome!"

"And you look beautiful," Troy grinned happily before holding his arm out for her to take.

Gabriella took his arm gracefully and walked towards his car happily. Troy fumbled with the car door and eventually opened it, as an embarrassed blush crept up his cheeks, "Troy, is everything okay?" Gabriella wondered as she noticed his arm shake at the wheel of the car.

"Everything's peachy," Troy replied confidently, '_Okay, Troy! Chill out! This is just another date, no big deal, just another date. You won't mess it up, you'll do fine!'_ Troy tried to reassure himself in his mind.

"Are you sure?" Gabriella queried.

Troy turned round to face her and smiled happily at her, "I'm really fine, Gabs. Shall we get going?" She nodded and he started the car. However, Troy was still as nervous as hell, '_Do something! Stop panicking! But what? Wait-'. _His face lit up as he thought of the perfect thing to distract him from his nerves, "Dina dina dina dina batman! Dina dina dina batman, dina dina dina batman," Troy sang over and over again, starting as a hoarse whisper but getting louder and louder as he went.

"Troy! Do you have to do that?" Gabriella asked him irritably.

"Sorry," Troy paused and took a left at the interstate before his nerves again took over, "Dina, dina, dina, dina, batman, dina, dina, dina, dina, batman, dina, dina, dina, dina, batman! Dina, dina, dina, dina, BATMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" Troy rapped his fingertips on the steering wheel as he sung the batman theme incessantly, ignoring the horrid glares and hisses from Gabriella, "Dina, dina, dina, dina, batman, dina, dina, dina, dina, batman, dina, dina, dina, dina, batman, DINA, DINA, DINA, DINA, BATMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

"TROY! STOP THAT! It's so-"

Troy cut Gabriella off, "Annoying?" He questioned.

"Exactly, can you cut it out?" She spat at him.

"Jeez, don't get your panties in a twist! I'm done now!" Troy joked.

"You can be such a baby sometimes you know, Troy?" Gabriella snarled.

"Alright, already! I said, i was done! We're here," Troy pulled up in the car park of the restaraunt and quickly ran round to Gabriella's side of the car and helped her from the car, "Mi Lady," He held his hand out for her.

Gabriella took his hand, rolled her eyes and despite herself, giggled at his immaturity, "Mi moron," She replied in a joking manner.

"I love you too," Troy replied sarcastically as they walked into the restaraunt. They made their way to the front where a waitress was waiting.

"Can i help you?" She asked politely.

"Table for three please," Troy replied in equal politeness.

"Troy, there's only two people here," Gabriella whispered into his ear.

Troy chose to ignore this, "Right this way Sir," The waitress said politely as she led them to a table for three.

"Thank you," He smiled warmly at her.

"Will the rest of your party be joining you shortly?" The waitress asked as she handed Gabriella and Troy their menu's.

"The party is all here," Troy answered impatiently and rolled his eyes at the 'stupid' waitress, "In fact, we'll be needing another menu,"

"I'm sorry?" The poor girl asked in complete confusion.

"Another menu. You only gave us two," Troy repeated as if she was completely thick.

"Troy, we only need two. What are you doing?" Gabriella hissed at him.

The waitress, however, merely did what she was asked and handed Troy a second menu, "There you are, Sir,"

"Why are you giving it me? The third menu is for my aquaintence to my left," He said rudely before pointing to the empty seat on his left.

"Sir, there's no-one there," The waitress said as patiently as she could.

"Sure there is, Walter Wildcat is right there!" Troy pointed furiously at the seat beside him.

"TROY! There is no-one there!" Gabriella spat at him.

"Yes there is!" Troy argued.

"Walter Wildcat?" Gabriella questioned him, with her eyebrows raised furiously.

"Yes," He answered simply.

"Who. Is. He?" Gabriella demanded through gritted teeth.

"My imaginary friend of course!" Troy beamed. The waitress looked at Troy like he was mad but walked away from the table nevertheless. The meal carried on without many more outbursts from Troy, until dessert was nearly finished with. The waitress came over and went to move the chair," What the hell do you think you are doing?" Troy screeched at the waitress.

"We need this chair for another customer, Sir," The waitress answered patiently.

"YOU CAN'T MOVE IT! Where will Walter sit?" Troy hissed at the woman.

"I'm sorry Sir, but you are obviously disturbed. There is no-one here!" The woman had reached the end of her tether.

"ARE YOU CALLING ME INSANE?" Troy thundered at the woman.

This caught the attention of an official looking woman, who was obviously the manager, "Is there something wrong, Sir?" She asked as she reached the table.

"Yes! This _Woman _insinuated that i was insane," Troy pointed an accusing finger at the cowering waitress.

"I'm terribly sorry for this, Sir. Make no mistake, Holly, will be punished severly for this outrageous talk, and of course your meal will be on the house," The manager apologised.

"Well that helps! Come on Gabriella, we are leaving!" Troy grabbed Gabi's hand, "Good day to you," He said dramatically before stalking out of the restaraunt.

Gabriella sat wordless in the car as Troy drove away from the restaraunt, until she finally had the guts to say something, "Troy, that was completely uncalled for..." She began.

Troy, however, was not paying attention, "Dina...Dina..."

"...Absolutely outrageous, honestly..."

"...Dina...Dina..."

"...Could you have been less horrible?"

" ...Batman..."

"You humiliated the poor girl!"

"...Dina...Dina...Dina...Dina...

"She could get sacked..."

"...Batman, Dina...Dina..."

"...Do you want that on your conscience?"

"...Dina...Dina...Batman

"I mean, was that REALLY necessary?" Gabriella went on ignored.

"Dina...Dina...BATMAAAAAAAAAAN!" Troy screeched.

"TROY! CAN YOU GET MORE ANNOYING?" Gabriella finally yelled at him.

Troy sat there silently for a minute or two pondering the question as Gabriella silently fumed in her seat, "Possibly," He finally answered with an evil smirk plastered across his face.

**Okay, please review if you liked it! Hell, review if you didn't! Then at least i can work on my mistakes!**

**Please R&R!**

**Stacey xxxxxxxx Smiles**


	9. IMPORTANT AN

**Hey guys! Sorry, no this isn't a chapter! I won't be able to update anything till next week because i have alot of stuff on! **

**I get my AS Level results tomorrow and then im going to my mums till monday! I'm really sorry that i won't be able to update, but i'll be working on the chapters in my notebook all weekend and i'll make the next chapters especially long for all you guys!**

**Right now, i need you to vote something for me.**

**Which would you like me to update first?**

**1) Undecided (With xxxPrincessJololaxxx)**

**2) Take A Chance or**

**3) Troy Bolton's 88 ways to annoy people.**

**So please vote and once again i'm really sorry that i can't update till Monday. Thank you for your patience, Stacey! xxxxxxxx**


	10. Number 8 and 9

**Hey! Sorry about the wait! Thanks so much for all the votes! Unfortunately, this one came in last, so i was last to update this one!**

**Now, this story will be ending after the next chapter. You'll see why at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HSM.**

**Number 8:Go into the bathroom at school, Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets and lie down on them. Scream and when someone arrives, **

**announce, "I'm suing this school! I slipped on a broken tile and now i'm bleeding to death!'' **

And**  
Number 9: Sniffle incessantly.**

"I can't believe he did that!" Taylor exclaimed, as she, Gabriella and Chad arrived at East High School on Monday. Gabriella had just finished explaining what had happened on her and Troy's date at the weekend.  
"I know! I was humiliated! How could he do that to me?" Gabriella cried.  
"Did he even offer an explanation, or an apology?" Taylor asked.  
"No! I mean, he just dropped me off like nothing had even happened," Gabriella replied.  
"That's Troy," Chad commented with a smirk.  
"What's that supposed to mean, Danforth?!" Taylor snapped at her boyfriend.  
"Hey! Don't last name me! It was Troy who was the jerk!" Chad protested.  
"Fine! What do you mean, _Chad?_" She asked politely, with gritted teeth.  
"Well, Troy does those kinds of things in three situations. 1) When he's bored; 2) When he's trying to impress someone and 3) When he's nervous," Chad explained.  
"So which one was he?" Gabriella questioned.  
"Jesus, and they call me dumb," Chad muttered, "He was nervous, Gabs," Chad sighed.  
"Why would he be nervous?" Gabriella countered, "We've been on dates before and he hasn't acted like a complete dimwit!"  
"He did on your first date," Chad pointed out.  
"He was-" Gabriella started.  
"Nervous...exactly! Come on Gabs, think this through. On your first date, he messed up because he was nervous and wanted to impress you, and now, on your anniversary dinner, he was again nervous and ended up messing up...again!" Chad explained in a triumphant voice.  
"Are you making excuses for him Chad?" Taylor asked sharply.  
"Stop snapping at me, Tay! I was just helping Gabriella with a little insight to my best mate's mind," He retorted at Taylor, then turned back to Gabriella, "You better watch out Gabs. Today, he's probably going to do something else," Chad warned.  
"Oh God. Like what?" Gabriella asked horrified.  
"If i know Troy, and i definitely do. It'll be something to make you feel sorry for him and want to laugh at him all at the same time," Chad guessed, "Come on we better go, or Darbus will have our heads," The three headed to Ms. Darbus' homeroom, where Troy was already sat. He didn't look up but was examining a piece of paper with extreme concentration. Gabriella sighed and sat down at her usual seat in the back, and watched as her idiotic boyfriend payed more attention to a piece of paper than her.

**HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM**

At Lunch, Gabriella, Chad and Taylor took their seats next to Troy, Sharpay, Ryan, Zeke, Kelsi, Martha and Jason. Once again, Troy was poring over a piece of paper. Gabriella tutted and turned her attentions to Sharpay who was giving a running commentary on shoes.  
"So, you see, i wanted to wear the pink ones but they didn't match my skin tone, and i had already worn the blue ones that week, so obviously i couldn't wear them again..." Sharpay began.

_Sniffle._

"Then, Daddy said that i could have both pairs of Jimmy Choo's if i wanted to, so of course i bought them..."

_Sniffle. Sniffle._

"So, i get home right, and the white pumps were an inch too large! I mean, how unfortunate is that?" She screeched.

_Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle._

Sharpay noticed the sniffles, but ignored it and carried on, "Then Daddy said that i should give my shoes to the homeless and i was all like, 'Daddy, if i give my shoes to the homeless, they'll look out of place with their other homeless people' and we wouldn't want that would we?"

_Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle._

"So i called Zekey and he told me that all i had to do was put tissue in the toe area of the white pumps and they would fit. So, i did and they fit! And i was just so happy. Well you have to see the pumps to realise _why _I was so happy of course. But you get the picture," Sharpay smiled.

_Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle._

"Then of course, i just had to buy Zeke a present for helping me, but what to get him? That was the-" Sharpay cut herself off at the annoying sound that had been going on during her whole explanation.

_Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle._

"Bolton! Would you like me to get you a tissue?" She snapped at him.  
"No-no," _sniffle, _"I'm fine," Troy shook his head sadly. Gabriella rolled her eyes.  
"Where was i? Oh yeah, so i decided to get Zeke a present and i thought what was better than shoes? Right? So, i went back to the mall and intended to get him some new basketball sneakers and then i just got drawn in at the shoe store again, and i came out with six more pairs. I guess it's fair to say that i had forgotten about Zeke's sneakers by then..."

_Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. SNIFFLE!_

"Troy! For God's sake! What are you doing now?!" Gabriella finally snapped.  
"Nothing! It's not like any of you would care!" Troy replied dramatically before getting up from his seat, "I'm going to the bathroom!" With that, he stalked off in the direction of the nearest bathroom.  
"Oh my God. He just gets worse and worse," Kelsi noted.  
"Tell me about it," Gabriella sighed.  
"We should get going too, you guys. Lunch period is nearly over," Zeke said.  
"But i haven't even finished my story!" Sharpay protested.  
"Send us a memo," Gabriella told her sharply.  
"But I -" Sharpay was cut off by a blood curdling scream. It was coming from the bathroom outside of the cafeteria.  
"Troy!" Gabriella panicked and the entire gang got up and ran to the bathroom.

**HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM**

After Troy had stalked out of the cafeteria, he headed for the bathroom right next door, where he put the next part of his plan into motion. Troy looked around the bathroom and noticed a broken floor tile, then beamed silently to himself.  
Pulling out several tomato ketchup packets from his jacket, stolen from the cafeteria; he emptied the contents onto parts of his head and the floor. He placed his head in an awkward position on the floor and let out a blood curdling scream.  
Before he knew it, the gang, along with a few other students and the principal were in the room.  
"What happened?!" Principal Matsui yelled.  
"I'm suing this school! I slipped on a broken tile and now i'm bleeding to death!'' He screamed at the Principal.  
"What?!" Principal Matsui panicked, "I'll call an ambulance!" With that, he fled from the room, where Troy began to laugh.  
"Troy! That was not funny! He thinks you're hurt!" Gabriella scolded.  
"You scared us to death, Dude!" Chad snapped.  
"Oh come on, it was funny!" Troy smirked as he stood up from where he lay.  
The gang looked at each other and eventually started laughing too, "Did you see the look on old Matsui's face? Priceless!" Zeke exclaimed.  
"One of these days, Troy, you'll get a taste of your own medicine," Gabriella giggled despite herself.  
"Well when that day comes, i'm sure i'll find it funny too," Troy said immaturely before walking out of the room, still laughing and directly into a confused looking Principal Matsui. The gang followed.  
"Troy, weren't you just on the floor, in pain, bleeding?" Principal Matsui asked in confusion.  
"Sorry? No, i've been in the cafeteria all this time. Maybe you need a holiday," Troy suggested with a straight face.  
"I think i do," Dave Matsui mumbled in reply, before walking away talking to himself incoherently, leaving Troy fighting back the urge to laugh more.  
"He is so annoying sometimes," Chad laughed.  
"But he's the funniest guy we know," Sharpay argued, still clutching her side in laughter.  
"He needs to learn his lesson," Jason spoke up, "He scared us,"  
"And he will," Taylor smirked, holding a piece of paper up.  
"What's that?" Chad asked his girlfriend.  
"It's Troy's list. '88 Ways to Annoy people'. Oh and would you look at that? Number eight, 'Go into the bathroom at school, Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets and lie down on them. Scream and when someone arrives, announce, "I'm suing this school! I slipped on a broken tile and now i'm bleeding to death!'. Then there's number nine, 'Sniffle incessantly',"  
"So, he's been doing all this stuff, off of a list?" Gabriella asked in disbelief.  
"Yup!" Taylor nodded.  
"Well then, lets give him a taste of his own medicine, then!" Chad exclaimed before ripping the paper out of Taylor's hands, "Aha! This is perfect to make Troy Bolton wish he had never annoyed us," Chad smirked.  
"Which one?" Everyone asked.  
"Oh no my dears, not just one. As many of them as we can do in one day," Chad grinned evilly, "He'll never want to annoy us again,"  
"Watch out Troy Bolton. You're about to be beaten at your own game," Gabriella smirked.

**Yeah, so, in the next chapter, the gang gets their revenge! I'm so sad that this story is ending, but i really can't carry it on much more! I'm running out of ideas!**

**Please Review!**

**Stacey! xxx**


	11. Final Chapter: Revenge?

**Hey guys! I know that it has been an ungodly amount of time since i update this but i am extremely sorry! Here is the final chapter i have been promising you for months! Enjoy:D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HSM.**

**3.Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."**

**5. Speak only in a "robot" voice.**

**15.Declare your house an independent nation, and sue your parents for "violating your airspace".**

**16.Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."**

**23.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophecy."**

**26.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears**

**27.Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room at someone you hate (i.e a teacher) then when they accuse you, say ''Look, just cause you can't be bothered to wash, doesn't mean you can pick on the cleanest person in the room!"**

**43.Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"**

**50. Repeat everything someone says, as a question, especially your teachers and parents!!**

51. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

**63. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination (especially parents, partners or teachers)**

**Final Chapter:**

"Morning Troy," Gabriella smiled at her boyfriend by his locker the next day.

"Oh hey Gabriella," He kissed her cheek, "So guess what?"

"What?" She asked, dreading the answer.

"Principal Matsui retired," He smirked, "Apparently the 'children' are sending him crazy," He laughed.

'He deserves this,' Gabriella thought, "Oh that's nice. So I heard this great joke on the radio," Gabriella began.

"Oh yeah? What was it?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"Two drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his buddy and says "I gotta go use the can." So he wonders off to the bathroom and is gone for 5 ... 10... 20 minutes," Troy nods at her to carry on, he's getting interested, "Well his friend gets pissed off and goes in to get him. He finds him in there and asks "What the hell are you doing?" The first drunk repies "Everytime I flush, something reaches up and grabs my balls." The second drunk looks at him and says," Gabriella suddenly stops and looks horrified.

"He says what?" Troy asked, obviously waiting for the punchline.

"Oh dear me, I've forgotten," Gabriella smacks herself in the head, "But it was a real hoot! I swear," She giggles nervously, "See you," And walks away leaving Troy confused.

"Ooh la la, Troy, what's wrong?" Chad asked, seeing his friend looking confused by his locker, minutes after Gabriella had walked away.

"It's Gabriella," Chad nodded for him to continue, "She's acting extremely weird,"

"Ooh la la, why?" Chad wondered, trying his hardest to keep a straight face.

"She started this joke and then just stopped, insisted it was a real hoot, laughed and walked away," He signaled her walking away with his hands.

"Ooh la la Troy, that is weird," Chad agreed solemnly.

"She's not the only one acting weird," Troy noticed, looking pointedly at Chad.

"Ooh la la whatever do you mean?" He asked as innocently as he could.

"You keep saying ooh la la, Chad," Troy told him.

"Ooh la la, I always say it. How self involved are you?" He snorted at Troy and walked away singing, "Ooh la la, Ooh la la!"

"Everyone is going crazy," Troy muttered before heading to homeroom.

x-x-x-x-x

Troy was sat in his homeroom class staring blankly at the wall when he heard the strangest noise, "Beep, bip, bip, bip beep, Troy, beep, bip, bip, beep," Troy turned his head and saw Sharpay talking in that strange voice.

"Bip, beep, beep, Troy, beep, beep, bip," Taylor replied shiftily whilst looking at Troy with a funny look.

"Beep, beep, bip," Sharpay nodded.

"Umm, guys what are you doing?" Troy asked them in confusion.

"Beep, bip, bip, Troy," Taylor replied with a fake smile.

"I'm sorry, what?" He shook his head and screwed his face up in confusion once more.

"Beep, bip, _bip, _Troy," Sharpay told him exasperatedly, whilst Gabriella tried to stifle her giggles.

"I don't understand what you're saying!" Troy said in frustration.

"Bip, bip, bip, beep, Troy!" Sharpay snapped in an angry voice as the bell went, signalling the end of homeroom.

"Absolutely nutters," Troy mumbled as he made to escape the madness, catching up with Jason and Kelsi at the door, "Guys, why is everyone acting so strangely?" He wondered.

"I have no idea Troy. What are you saying?" Jason asked him in his best fake robot voice.

"You too?" Troy asked incredulously.

"Me too what?" He replied once more in a robot voice.

"Kels?" Troy asked helplessly.

"Everyone is acting so strangely in accordance with the prophecy," Kelsi told him in a strange airy voice.

"What prophecy?" Troy asked in bewilderment.

"All questions must be in accordance with the prophecy," She replied cryptically.

"WHAT PROPHECY?" Troy yelled.

"The prophecy of earthlings which is the law in accordance with the prophecy," Kelsi said in a duh- tone.

"You've all gone loony!" Troy announced to everyone in earshot.

"That is not in accordance with the prophecy," Kelsi told him matter of factly before dragging Jason away.

x-x-x-x-x-x

By Lunchtime, Troy was extremely annoyed. He had no idea what the hell his friends were playing at and why none of them could give him a straight answer. In order to keep his sanity he decided to sit next to Martha and Zeke who were, as far as Troy could tell, the only sane people in the whole entire school.

"Do you hear that?" Zeke asked suddenly, looking up from his lunch.

"What?" Troy asked, looking around for a noise of some kind.

"Never mind, it's gone now," Zeke shrugged and went back to his lunch.

Troy shrugged as well and turned to Martha, "Martha, do you know why everyone's been treating me strangely?" He asked in genuine wonderment.

"Do you know why everyone's been treating you strangely?" She replied cryptically.

"No," He shook his head.

"No, you say?" She surveyed him over her i-pod, "Why no?"

"Because i don't know," He answered honestly.

"Oh you don't know?" She asked.

"Do you hear that?" Zeke asked again.

"What?" Troy turned to Zeke and once more looked around.

"Never mind, it's gone now," Zeke shook his head.

"Okay," Troy sang at him like he was the weirdest guy on the planet.

"Okay, what?" Martha asked him.

"Now Zeke's being weird," Troy told her.

"Zeke's being weird, _is he?_" She asked, smirking.

"Yes and so are you," Troy insisted.

"I am, am i?" She nodded.

"Yes you are," Troy nodded.

"Do you hear that?" Zeke asked AGAIN.

"What?!" Troy snapped.

"Never mind, it's gone now," Zeke shrugged.

"What has gone now?!" Troy asked incredulously to both Martha and Zeke.

"We don't know, what has gone now?" Martha riddled.

"Do you hear that?" Zeke asked happily, lifting his hand to his ear.

Troy stood up and pushed his lunch aside, "No I don't hear that!" And stormed towards the exit of the cafeteria.

"Hear what?!" Martha shouted after him, before collapsing into a fit of giggles with Zeke.

x-x-x-x-x

"Oh Ryan, thank God!" Troy sighed as he found Ryan by his locker, "This whole school has gone bananas! You have to help me," Troy begged him furiously.

"No, he isn't!" Ryan snapped at himself.

"Who isn't?" Troy asked in confusion.

"He isn't real," Ryan told himself.

"Who isn't real?" Troy snapped at Ryan.

"Troy Bolton, aged 18, basketball superstar. Status," Ryan paused, looked Troy in the eye and shook his head, "Exists only in my imagination," He nodded happily.

"What? Ryan! I really need your help here," Troy begged of him.

"I'm sorry Troy, but I cannot help a figment of my imagination," Ryan insisted.

"But I'm not-" Troy began, but cut himself off when he realised that Ryan had clapped his hands over his ears, signalling the end of the conversation before walking away muttering to himself about "Crazy imaginary jocks".

Fed up with all of the strange behaviour, Troy solemnly made his way towards his final lesson; English with Miss Darbus. He had only been sat down five minutes when an ink cartridge sailed straight towards him and hit him square on the face, spilling ink all over him. As he turned another ink cartridge sailed for his shirt and hit it's mark. Looking back furiously he noticed Chad holding his ink pen outstretched in his hand.

"Chad! Why the hell did you just throw your ink all over me! I'm covered in the stuff!" Troy yelled at him.

"Look, just cause you can't be bothered to wash, doesn't mean you can pick on the cleanest person in the room!" Chad shouted back, offended.

"He-" Troy began furiously but stopped mid sentence as he realised something. _'Martha answered all my questions with a question, Chad said ooh la la a lot and threw that ink at me. Gabriella told a long joke but forgot the punch line. Zeke kept asking about a noise that wasn't there. Ryan said i only existed in his imagination. Jason spoke to me like a robot and Kelsi kept talking about some prophecy. And Sharpay and Taylor were talking in some funny- MORSE CODE! All of these things were on my list!'_ He thought furiously. _'Oh so they're doing a little pay back are they? Well they can all just wait until weekly movie night tonight at my house. Little runts' _Troy smirked deviously and a plan began to form in his mind.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Later that night, the gang were all walking to Troy's for their weekly Friday film night. Currently they were discussing the day's activities.

"I got him good," Martha announced, "He was really peeved," She smirked.

"We both got him at the same time so he was doubly annoyed," Zeke added.

"Oooo, so did we!" Kelsi said pointing to herself and Jason who just nodded in agreement.

"Well I got him twice, so I am the grand master," Chad announced.

"Yeah alright curly-fro. Keep your head the same size please," Taylor begged of him.

"Do we have anymore?" Gabriella asked.

"Loads, but i think we got him enough. He was really ready to crack when Chad hit him with the ink cartridge," Sharpay replied.

"Oh no, it is never enough for Troy," Chad smirked as they reached the drive. Being the closest he reached up for the knocker and tapped it three times.

A minute or two later, Troy opened the door and looked at them in confusion, "I'm sorry, you can't enter," He said politely.

"Troy, stop playing around and let us in," Gabriella snapped at him.

"I'm sorry Gabriella but that is a no-can-do," Troy nodded in the affirmative.

"And why not?" She asked, her voice incredibly low.

"I said so," Troy told her, "And if you don't back off, i'll have to sue you," He announced.

"For _what?_" Sharpay asked incredulously.

"The Bolton residence has just been named an independant nation and you are violating the airspace. Good-night," He replied cheerily before shutting the door on them.

"TROY!" They all shouted before pounding on the door after him.

On the other side of the door, Troy suppressed laughter, "Troy Bolton's 88 ways to annoy people never fails," He smirked.

**Hey again! How was it? Please review one last time for old times sake?**

**Thank you so much for all of your continued support. You guys are the best! I'm so sad that this is over, but happy because it took so long! Please review, Stacey xxxx**


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